The Day Our Son Became an Angel

Over the next week Adam and I came to realize that our baby boy wasn't going to make it. Those feelings that week were a lot of mixed emotions. Sadness, anger, defeat, disbelief, and peace that we would make it through this. At my follow up appointment I watched the ultrasound monitor and saw that our baby was not moving very much, and his heart rate was dropping. I knew he was tired of fighting this virus and it would be any day now that he would return to heaven. It broke my heart to see my once baby that was moving all around look tired and worn out. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest.  We left the doctors knowing that any day his heart would stop and I would have to deliver our baby boy asleep. I schedule an appointment with my OB on a Thursday to check to see if he had a heart beat. I remember going into my OB knowing my baby didn't have a heart beat. He checked and it was true, he had gone to heaven. I look back at the moment and can't believe I was brave and strong enough to hear the news, I know my baby boy was there giving me strength. On Friday morning I went to the hospital where they started to induce me. There are a lot of personal details that I won't go into but are baby boy was born Easter Sunday March 31st 2013. We named him Joseph Randy after my great grandpa and after Adam's dad Randy who had passed away. He was only 15 ounces and 9 1/2 inches long. Adam and I miss Joseph deeply. Our arms ache

just to hold him again. We are devoted to making his life matter and also help other women be aware of the risks of CMV to their unborn babies.